We are hurting. We are lonely. We are isolated. We are, for the most part, fairly un-connected. Not everyone relates to this... but many of us have plenty of friends and followers on social media, yet we're mostly unsatisfied in our relationships. Why? 

We were made for real connection; humans were intricately designed to connect face to face... with our eyes, ears, and hearts intentionally engaged with someone else. I promise this isn't an anti-smartphone post, but almost.

For me, when I'm lonely, anxious, depressed, or confused, sitting eye-to-eye with a trustworthy person helps. Sometimes that's hard to find. Do you have someone that you can really talk to face-to-face? Book clubs, yoga classes, small-groups, rec sports, coffee shops, and work-out facilities can be a starting ground for connection, but all too often we remain hidden and insulated... avoiding REAL-ationships though people are all around us.

In our interactions, it sometimes feels like our eyes are glazed over like a lonely piece of pottery (like this Toby Mug in my office). Do we want something more real? How can we change? It is important to talk openly and authentically about our joys, pains, addictions, fears, disappointments, grief, and shame. Are we reaching out? It takes courage to find real connection with another living, breathing human being... and it is often times a huge part of the healing, restoration, and transformation we are after. As I continue to learn what it means to be an effective counselor, I am inspired by what Mary Pipher says in Letters to a Young Therapist, "What really works in therapy is a real person connecting to a real person." 

If we are going to survive the smartphone age, we need to beef up our "real connection" muscles. In our families, marriages, friendships, and workplaces... it can start with a question: "How are you, really?" or "Do you want to talk?". It is a risk, but it's entirely worth the connection.