Pornography.

Named the “new drug” by some, and deemed an old addiction by others—whatever you want to call it—porn is literally everywhere.

In August of 2015, research by the Barna Group indicated that more teens and young adults think that “not recycling” is worse than viewing porn. Shocking or not shocking?

Several months ago I was mowing, and I noticed a piece of paper on the edge of my yard. Thinking it was probably just a candy-bar wrapper, or simply an old receipt, I grabbed the litter, but to my surprise it was part of an X-rated DVD cover. 

It immediately went in the trash.

I was angry that these images had invaded my yard where my boys play tag and baseball. I’m glad they didn’t find it, that day. In the overtly sexualized culture we live in, they will eventually stumble upon it (if they haven’t already), and they too will have the choice to throw it away or not.

No one is perfect. We are all on an imperfect journey toward healthy sexuality.

I have my own brokenness in this area. I’ve really struggled at times. When the internet became readily available on our computers and phones, things changed for all of us. The monster has grown beyond magazines and the back isles of Blockbuster. Since the late nineties, internet porn has clawed at our ankles.

For me, it has taken intentional accountability, a porn-free environment at home, fortifying my electronic devices (being smart with my smart-phone), continual vulnerability, and the ointment of grace and truth from friends. Not to mention, encouragement and support from my wife.

I’m a wounded healer in this area.

Marriages are on a lifeline. Churches are in crisis. And the sexuality of a generation is being marred by porn—we’re glued to the images of false intimacy. Extra-marital affairs, sexting, and hidden sexual addictions are rampant—destroying relationships all around us.

As a therapist, I work with many men in my counseling office who struggle with their sexual behaviors when they’re hurting, lonely, or bored. And the fact that pornography is free, easy to access, and often a cellphone-secret—it has become an easy snare for a vast number of men (and women). 

Last year (the Fall of 2018) Dr. David Hall and I started our first Real Connection Men’s Group. For about seven months we met weekly with a few men in group therapy to address these issues. These men grew in their vulnerability, relationships, and sobriety. We didn’t obtain perfection at the end of it, but there was growth—and a fresh weekly commitment to not go at it alone. 

We learned that we had to reach out for a real connection to others—and our group mantra was “reach out or act out.”

The battle against porn is worth the fight.

Jarrod

This spring we are offering another Real Connection Men’s Group for up to 8 men. For more information visit: https://www.havenpsychiatry.com/real-connection-men-s-group.