Most of us are busy.
We work a lot.
Our alarm sounds, we pour the coffee, and then…
We’re off—like a wild horse in the Kentucky Derby. And, for the foreseeable future, our calendar is an overstuffed suitcase we can’t get closed.
Why consider self-care?
The basic, universal responsibilities at home are: laundry, groceries, sleep, and dishes (wink-wink). And as if that didn’t take long enough…
There’s the brushing of teeth (flossing if we’re lucky), a date night (if we remember)—and not to mention, the ever-growing complexities of family, kids, friendships, work, church, school, marriage, extra-curricular activities, and committee meetings.
I don’t know about you, but at the end of the week, I’m wiped out.
In 2014, a national Gallup poll put the average American work week at 47 hours per week. That’s about 9 and 1/2 hours per day (with overtime adding up on the weekends through constant emails, texts, and calls—easily putting us over 50 hrs).
For the sake of dreaming, what if we had an extra day on the weekends? We could call it Fun-day or My-day (with no work allowed)—where we could sleep in, spend more time with family, or enjoy an old hobby again. We can dream…
Is self-care selfish?
It can be a controversial question (especially among certain religious circles or companies, where people are encouraged to burn the candle at both ends and work unrealistic hours).
But, the short answer is: “No! It is not!” Maybe it could be wrong, self-centered, and egotistical if you lived on a yacht year round—playing Candy Crush all day.
Good self-care (the kind I’m talking about) is not about indulging in laziness or luxury. It’s about learning healthy rhythms of work, rest, and refreshment. Obviously, a little extra grit in the office is necessary, and should not be abandoned. And serving others isn’t just for Mother Teresa, Jesus, or the eager social worker.
We can engage in significant tasks and still cultivate margin in our lives.
Ruth Haley Barton, author of Sacred Rhythms, admonishes us to know the difference between a good tired and a “dangerously tired.” And furthermore, she says, “As we learn to care for and honor our bodies as a spiritual practice, we begin to sense God’s goodness and presence in and through our bodies. We are energized for the spiritual journey and for service to others.”
Our limitations are important to acknowledge. We need boundaries in our relationships, jobs, and schedules. What’s okay and what’s not? If we’re constantly sleepy, unmotivated, or feeling empty—we may need to tweak our bed-time routines, commitments, and good intentions.
Parker Palmer encourages us that, “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
Seriously ask yourself, “Where am I making time for me?”
For the majority of us, we’ve forgotten to put “me-time” in our schedules. Dr. Karyl McBride notes in her article on self-care that, “If we are filling our own emotional tanks with self-respect and loving care, we have much more to give to our families, friends, and the world in general.”
How can we give more attention to our own wellbeing? The physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects of our life matter.
Here are few practical thoughts on self-care…
1. Get outside and do something tangible. Find a place that’s beautiful and peaceful—go there. Enjoy a hike, bike ride, or sit in the grass with your shoes off. Pick up a pen and write something or draw. Get some perspective by getting out—it can help you hit the reset button.
2. Rest your mind from media. Try logging out of your social media accounts for a while. Scrolling can seem restful at the time, but not for the soul. Maybe explore screen time limitations on your computer or phone (teenagers need this, but adults can be compulsive too). TV moderation can be a good start for body-mind-soul rejuvenation. Novelist Anne Lamott reminds us that, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
3. Take time to feel your emotions. Give attention to your feelings. Let your heart breathe. Listen to music that will pluck your heart strings, or write a few *#^$%# words in your journal—let’s be honest, there can be a lot of horrific stuff inside of us that needs to get out. Scream in a pillow or cry on the back porch. (Look at my previous article about our emotional dashboard here).
4. Meditation and mindfulness. Wake up before the birds, and see the world come alive. Stay up late and gaze at the stars. Pick up a flower, a piece of bark, or a blade of grass and experience it slowly—let your senses notice all the small details. Read the Psalms (If you believe in Jesus—and remember how real and honest you’re allowed to be in his presence).
5. Get a massage, haircut, or pedicure. Relax your muscles. Find a new haircut. And for those of you who need a pedicure or manicure—put it in your schedule and enjoy.
6. Spend time with friends. Get a game night on the calendar. Laugh until you cry. Do something that will cultivate real connection in your life. Who ya gonna call?!
7. Take a day off. Your homework or the workplace can make it without you for a day. Seriously. Put in a request this week to NOT work. A “refreshed you” will probably work harder next week anyway. Cash it in—it will pay off.
Happy self-caring!
