A couple years ago, I got flipped off on Christmas Eve.
True story.
The ill bird lasted about ten seconds. It was a huge “Bah humbug!” from Ebenezer Scrooge himself—piercing through the Christmas cheer like a cold, cruel icicle. Isn’t there a law about giving the middle finger on Christmas Eve?! I thought so.
If you’re continuing to read this, Merry Christmas!
And if it’s been one of those years, or five… and you’d rather hear, “Have a melancholy Christmas and a depressing New Year!” I could say that too, but that’s the Grinch’s job, and he’s expected to be weird, green and grumpy.
The Grinch aside…
We can all feel scrooge-like sometimes, and just down-right sad during the holidays.
Our culture bombards us with cheery Yuletide messages that say we should love egg nog, Christmas wreaths, and act even jollier than the rest of the year. But what if you hate elves and egg nog? Worst of all, what happens when “the most wonderful time of the year” makes you blue?
December can feel overwhelming with travel, family, and in-laws. And, there’s the dangerous balancing act of budgeting; most of us walk a tight-rope as we make our purchases. And our calendars can feel like a Christmas-clown car overflowing with decorations, plays, pageants, poinsettias, concerts, reindeer, rehearsals, dinners, cards, extra shopping, festivities, and parties.
Not to mention, it’s cold and dark outside, a lot. Unless you grew up in Siberia, no one should get used to living in “Gloomsville” where there’s zero sunshine and bone-chilling wind.
If it’s not a white Christmas this year—but a blue one, you’re not alone.
The radio constantly plays: “From now on, our troubles will be out of sight”—yet, sometimes our problems can feel more real than the hand-carved nativity scene on the mantle. For those of us who have experienced depression before—we get it. And it can feel severely shameful and isolating when the only message we hear is to “just cheer-up, Charlie.”
The sobering truth is, a lot of us are in the midst of grief, tragedy, fear, despair, and broken dreams this year. Or maybe it’s the continual agony of loneliness, or the trauma of a chronic sickness, betrayal, death, or divorce in the family. Our unwelcome guests called Pain and Suffering don’t seem to care that it’s Christmas time.
So, let’s try and make a little more sense of the Christmas blues we tend to experience. There are biological, psychological, social, and spiritual things to consider.
Could seasonal depression be a part of the problem?
Yes, indeed.
As a mental health professional, I want to validate that seasonal depression or the “winter blues” is experienced by an estimated 10 million Americans each year. (It is less prevalent in geographical locations closer to the equator) but even mild symptoms can accumulate during the winter months where sunshine is lacking.
Some specific symptoms for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) may include: hopelessness, low energy, wanting to sleep more, overeating, weight gain, craving carbohydrates, irritability, and social withdrawal (or you may feel like “hibernating”).
You may not be a complete grinch after all—these biological factors are real and can explain some of our melancholy behaviors this time of year.
Individuals with symptoms of SAD may have trouble regulating serotonin (the neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation), produce less Vitamin D throughout the winter months (which is believed to be involved in serotonin production), and/or overproduce melatonin (the hormone that helps with our sleep cycle).
How do we make the holidays less blue?
Not everyone who feels depressed during winter should be diagnosed with SAD, but as one who deals with some mild symptoms myself, here are a few tips to improve your mood:
1. Get outside & exercise. It’s amazing what a walk, bike ride, or jog can do. When you’re exercising consistently it helps. Even if you have to put on a few extra layers and some gloves, get outside! Think about how to increase your exposure to natural light throughout the day.
2. Eat healthier meals. You don’t have to cut out carbs completely (have a sugar cookie and enjoy your Grandmother’s home cookin’—by golly, it’s Christmas time), but a consistent, balanced diet of fresh fruits and vegetables will keep you from feeling too lazy and lethargic.
3. Evaluate your thinking. It’s easy to look at the glass half empty, especially when you’re lonely or hurting—how we think is crucial. Are you constantly thinking negative thoughts throughout the day or is optimism a part of your mind’s playlist?
Aaron Beck, a cognitive theorist and researcher, developed the concept of the “cognitive triad” when working with depression. He noted that depressed individuals tend to have a critical or negative view of self, the world, and the future. Learn to strengthen your thought muscles.
4. Slow down and write. I’m a huge advocate of journaling! Get your negative thoughts and feelings out on paper, and chances are your emotions will more easily shift toward gratitude as well. Numbing out or refusing to acknowledge your feelings can keep you stuck in “Blahs-ville.” So, get honest about your problems and try penning a few thankful thoughts too.
5. Balance alone time and party time. Take care of yourself. Get adequate sleep and say, “No!” to the things you really can’t do this year. And when you do say yes to the party or “get-together”—you’ll enjoy yourself more.
Make room to grieve together this year. We all handle despairing times differently—but if you’re truly lonely, isolating yourself is probably not the answer. Risk, pick up the phone, and schedule a coffee or lunch date with a trusted friend.
6. Consider seeing a Mental Health Professional. Psychology Today notes that SAD treatment can typically include “combinations of antidepressant medication, light therapy, Vitamin D, and counseling.” Other recommendations can be found here from Everyday Health—or from Psychiatric Advisor here.
7. Drink hot chocolate. Seriously, make yourself a frothy cup or two.
8. Explore your longings and give spiritual significance to the season. For those of us who believe in God, and more specifically in Jesus. Celebrating the miracle of his birth is a deep reminder that our Savior is near. His name is Emmanuel, “God with us.”
He’s the light of the world, and he knows how to illuminate our “grey days” and comfort us—especially when we’re groaning for the tears and depression to stop. One day they will.
Have a real, authentic Christmas—and I’ll hope for some merry times too!
